Episode 25: Dinner-Table Lessons from the Coroner’s Chair
When you spend your career as a coroner or forensic pathologist, your day-to-day stories don’t often fit neatly between mashed potatoes and green beans. But in my house, they did. When my children were little, we made a point to eat dinner as a family every night, even if my “interesting cases” occasionally became the topic of conversation. Don’t worry, I watered the stories down for young ears. But sharing those experiences wasn’t just about telling tales from work; it was about teaching lessons, lessons about choices, responsibility, and how quickly small mistakes can turn tragic.
The BB Gun Story That Hit Too Close to Home
One of the most memorable cases I ever handled began with something that seemed harmless, a BB gun. A man and his girlfriend got into an argument over the last beer in the house. Fueled by alcohol and poor judgment, she grabbed a BB gun and fired. What she didn’t realize was that BB guns can reach muzzle speeds comparable to small firearms. The shot pierced his chest, hitting an artery in his lung. He never made it to the hospital.
When I shared that story at dinner, my kids listened wide-eyed. Later that night, my wife told me our youngest son, Jacob, had pulled her aside in a panic. “Mom,” he whispered, “me and Jeremy shoot each other with BB guns all the time.” That realization hit him harder than any story could. Suddenly, “fun and games” had a new meaning. He saw that even something marketed as a toy could be deadly.
Why Parents Tell “Scary” Stories
Most parents have their own version of a warning tale: don’t play in the street, don’t text and drive, don’t drink underage. Kids often roll their eyes, thinking, Nothing bad will happen to me. But rare doesn’t mean impossible.
The purpose of my stories wasn’t to frighten; it was to remind them that consequences are real. Whether it’s a BB gun, a party, or a moment of recklessness, one careless decision can change a life forever. As a coroner, I’ve seen far too many tragedies that could have been prevented with a moment’s thought. As a dad, I wanted my kids to hear those lessons from someone who’s seen the aftermath.
The Strict Dad (Who Turned Out to Be Right)
My kids often said I was the strictest father they knew, especially when it came to underage drinking or driving too fast. I used to tell them, “How many of your friends’ dads have had to do autopsies on teenagers?” That usually ended the conversation. Funny enough, years later, that same “wild child” of mine who thought I was too strict became a dad himself, and now praises the very rules he used to complain about. Turns out, time and perspective are powerful teachers.
The Speeding Ticket Story
Here’s a lighter one. My son once got pulled over for speeding in northern Indiana, where I’d helped train the county’s deputy coroners. The officer saw his license and asked, “Any relation to Dr. Kohr?” My son said, “Yeah—he’s my dad.” The cop wrote him the ticket anyway.
A few weeks later, at a coroner’s conference, Dr. Kohr shared with that county’s Coroner this story. His boss wasn’t too happy. “You gave Dr. Kohr’s kid a ticket?” he said. “You’re going to be working the “hoot owl” shift for a while.” Let’s just say my son learned that being Dr. Kohr’s kid doesn’t always get you out of trouble.
The Moral of the Stories
If there’s one takeaway from all these dinner-table tales, it’s this: life can turn on a dime. The things we think are small, cutting corners, horsing around, and taking risks, can have enormous consequences. Parents tell these stories not to scare kids, but to keep them safe. And kids? Someday you’ll tell your own stories, and you’ll realize those “strict” moments were acts of love.